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36 things that actually happened in Fox's live Jesus musical

36 things that actually happened in Fox's live Jesus musical Mashable We're using cookies to improve your experience. Click Here to find out more. Mashable Mashable Mashable Australia Mashable France Mashable India Mashable UK Sign in Like Follow Follow Mashable see more  > Search Videos Social Media Tech Business Entertainment World Lifestyle Watercooler Shop More Channels Videos Social Media Tech Business Entertainment World Lifestyle Watercooler Shop Company About Us Licensing & Reprints Archive Mashable Careers Contact Contact Us Submit News Advertise Advertise Legal Privacy Policy Terms of Use Cookie Policy Apps iPhone / iPad Android Resources Subscriptions Sites Mashable Shop Job Board Social Good Summit Entertainment Like Follow Follow 36 things that actually happened in Fox's live Jesus musical 754 Shares Share Tweet Share What's This? Jesus walks. Er, stands.Image: Twitter / ThePassionLive By Hillary Busis 2016-03-21 03:44:09 UTC Jesus Christ. Fox's The Passion — a live musical about the death and resurrection of the Son of God, staged in New Orleans and hosted and narrated by Tyler Perry — sure was... something. Audiences may have tuned in on Palm Sunday expecting something along the lines of Jesus Christ Superstar. Instead, they got a production more like Rock of Ages meets the actual hymn "Rock of Ages," except with every song pilfered from a Now That's What I Call Dad Rock! CD released circa 2005. Get it? No? Understandable; a vague description really can't do this fascinating mess justice. Instead, let's to go a list of 36 things that — swear to God — really happened in The Passion Live: 1. Tyler Perry began the night by giving a little background about the special's most important figure: Tyler Perry. 2. Gospel star Yolanda Adams kicked things off by singing David Guetta's "When Love Takes Over," which is certainly a song about God's love and not one about what happens when you dance with your friend Molly. 3. Too many incredible audience reaction shots to list, including but not limited to the granny getting down during "When Love Takes Over," the little girl who had had enough of Hoobastank, and so, so many spectators who almost knew the words to the songs they were mouthing along to. Obsessed with this little girl who is not enjoying the cameras or Hoobastank right now #ThePassionLive pic.twitter.com/k0U5zIPV77 — Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) March 21, 2016 4. Jesus (Jencarlos Canela) and his buddies entered the story via streetcar, singing Celine Dion, just as in the Gospel of John. 5. Perry revealed that as the show progressed, a crowd of New Orleaneans would carry a 20-foot illuminated cross from the Superdome to the Passion stage. You know, regular New Orleans Sunday. Want to know how we made the 20 foot, 285 pound illuminated cross for #ThePassionLive ? https://t.co/QYoUP4owYL — The Passion (@ThePassionLive) March 21, 2016 6. Seal made his first entrance as Pontius Pilate, casually taking a call on his iPhone — then didn't appear again for like, an hour and a half. 7. Mary, a.k.a. Trisha Yearwood, explained her relationship with her son Jesus via Whitney Houston's "My Love Is Your Love." 8. Jesus sang Phillip Phillips' "Home" — hey there, Fox network synergy! — while taking a twilight stroll through the French Quarter. Even though it was clearly daylight where Tyler Perry and the live audience were standing. What's that about The Passion being a live musical? 9. Jesus went to a food truck and bought a muffaletta from Top Chef finalist Carla Hall. He did not shout "Hootie!" Jesus buys bread for the Last Supper. #ThePassionLive https://t.co/uFY2sWxIEP — The Passion (@ThePassionLive) March 21, 2016 10. Jesus sang Creed's "With Arms Wide Open" at the Last Supper, holding his arms wide open. As one typically does at a seder. He opens his arms with an important message for His followers. #ThePassionLive pic.twitter.com/UkwKS5MQSP — The Passion (@ThePassionLive) March 21, 2016 11. Mary sang "Hands." By Jewel. Yeah, that Jewel. 12. Tyler Perry uttered these immortal words like a TV announcer trying to get you to stay tuned to Scandal: "When we return, Judas struggles with an unthinkable decision. We'll be right back." 13. The production cut abruptly from an interview with a grieving mother — one of the illuminated cross processors — to Chris Daughtry. 14. Playing Judas. 15. And singing "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence. 16. From what appeared to be the set of Lease: The Musical . . @CHRIS_daughtry gives a chilling performance of 'Bring Me to Life' by @evanescence . #ThePassionLive pic.twitter.com/vFfMejnwjC — The Passion (@ThePassionLive) March 21, 2016 17. DAUGHTRY. EVANESCENCE. ABANDONED FACTORY. PROFIT??? Judas asks for someone to save him from the dark. #ThePassionLive pic.twitter.com/5fF8WjXhtQ — The Passion (@ThePassionLive) March 21, 2016 18. I'm still on this: In what context could this song possibly make sense? Is Judas supposed to be singing