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Spit Parties: The Trend Piece That Will Destroy The World

Spit Parties: The Trend Piece That Will Destroy The World Related Blogs Antiviral Art The Best Restaurant in New York Blackbag Defamer Disputations Documents Dodgeandburn Dog Domesticity Drugs Fine Vining Fortress America FrenchGawker Weird Internet Interviews Justice Morning After PhaseZero Politburo Rankings Gawker Review of Books Sausage Slowgawker Sony Hack One Man's Take The Cuck Themachines The Vane The West tktk True Stories Valleywag Spit Parties: The Trend Piece That Will Destroy The World 5.13K Dashiell Bennett 09/13/08 03:45PM Filed to: Rupert Murdoch Rupert Murdoch Harvey Weinstein Wendi Murdoch Sergey Brin Google Dna Technology Judgment Day 23andme Valleywag Judgment day Guess what you're doing about six-to-10 weeks from now? Going to a "spit party!" Thanks to some dynamite PR and one very fancy guest list, plucky young tech firm 23andMe has made DNA testing parties the hottest new trend around. And they're bringing it to the masses—via media moguls at Fashion Week parties, that is. Don't worry, it will eventually trickle down to the rest of us. We say plucky, of course, because the firm was co-founded by the wife of Google oligarch Sergey Brin, and has received "token funding" from Harvey Weinstein and Wendi Murdoch, wife of Rupert, and is having its coming out party this week in the New Yorker and the Times. It's the Little Startup That Could! But why would those folks want to convince yuppies with disposable income to spit into a tube and mail the spit to a research lab, where their complete genetic profile will be uploaded to the web to be shared with friends, loved ones, and curious sex partners? Isn't it obvious...?Google exists for one purpose: to catalog all the information in the known universe, because information is power. Rupert Murdoch exists for one purpose: to disseminate all that information and make a fortune off it. But Rupert Murdoch can't live forever ... unless! Hear us out: 23andMe compiles a record of the most ideal chromosomes from the world's most remarkable genetic freaks (Usian Bolt's speed, Gary Kasparov's logical reasoning, Michael Phelps' giant flippers), melds them with Murdoch's base double-helix blueprint, and then installs the self-aware Rupert virus on a Google server farm. You know how this story ends: Or maybe Harvey Weinstein just wants his pee to smell like asparagus. It could go either way. When in Doubt, Spit It Out [NYT] Ptooey! [NewYorker] Related: Lots more on 23andMe @ Valleywag Terms of Service Privacy Policy